March 8, 2019
I don’t pretend to be the world’s greatest legal writer. But at least I know what not to say. That’s more than I can say for California lawyer Benjamin Pavone.
In an appeal from an adverse decision in a labor action tried before a female judge, Pavone wrote that his client “hereby appeals from the lower court’s disgraceful order dated November 30, 2016…. The ruling’s succubustic adoption of the defense position, and resulting validation of the defendant’s pseudohermaphroditic misconduct, prompt one to entertain reverse peristalsis unto its four corners.”
Let me help you out here. A succubus is a demon assuming female form to have sex with men. You know what a hermaphrodite is. Peristalsis is the involuntary constriction and relaxation of the muscles of the intestine, creating wave-like movements that push the contents of the canal forward.
The California appellate court was not amused and, in a decision filed last week, not only upheld the lower court’s decision, it reported Attorney Pavone to the State Bar.