April 12, 2024
On a slow day, here are a few “Dad joke tweets.” I may or may not have something more substantive for your tomorrow.
- Shout out to the people wondering what the opposite of in is.
- A recent study found that six of the seven dwarfs aren’t happy.
- Just finished reading a book called “Practical Jokes Involving Glue.” I couldn’t put it down.
- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
- I told my therapist I was afraid of spontaneously combusting, so she prescribed me an anti-inflammatory.
- I caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
- When a cannibal shows up late for dinner, he ends up getting the cold shoulder.
- What do we want? A really fast car to drive past! When do we want it? NeeeYOWWWwww!
- I love the way the Earth rotates. It really makes my day.
- If pronouncing my b’s as v’s makes me sound Russian, then Soviet.